Helpful Tips to Better Communicate with Your Partner
All intimate relationships revolve around healthy and effective communication. It’s the foundation for lasting relationships and creating a sense of true understanding.
Improving your communication can increase mutual trust, improve your ability for conflict resolution, and increase your level of intimacy. Here are some tips to better communicate with your partner.
Understand Talking vs. Communication
You can go through your days talking and making conversation with your partner and still lack effective communication. Small talk and short sentiments in passing do not constitute communication.
Healthy communication entails truly connecting with your partner. It’s how you use verbal, written, and physical communication skills to meet your partner’s needs. When you understand where they’re at, you can understand the best way to support them.
As time goes by, the connection and communication can start to diminish. Be mindful of your connection and know when to admit that it isn’t what it used to be. Improving communication may start with rekindling your connection.
Know Your Communication Styles
Not everyone speaks the same language. If you don’t already know, it’s important to take some time to learn about each of your communication styles. There are four main communication styles including passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.
A passive communicator rarely says no and keeps their emotions locked inside. An aggressive communicator is more intense and tends to have a harder time establishing connections. Passive-aggressive communicators know how to use sarcastic comments as a protection mechanism. They also avoid any kind of conflict. Assertive communicators are the healthiest of the four. They understand their emotions and are able to communicate their needs.
If you and your partner have two different styles, it increases the likelihood of miscommunication. Learn about what your styles are and how they operate. Use that information to increase your understanding of each other’s needs.
Be Open and Honest
While many couples like to think their partners can read their minds, the truth of the matter is no one can. If you’re not being open and honest with your partner, it can lead to unfulfilled needs, miscommunications, and a diminished connection.
So often people are afraid to express their needs in fear of sounding selfish. Your partner is the one person you should never feel selfish with. Share your thoughts, emotions, and desires. On the other end, don’t be afraid to ask. If your partner is telling you something you don’t understand or you want more information on, ask them.
Having that ability to converse with your partner on the good and the uncomfortable creates a stronger level of trust. Not shying away from conflict or disagreements can establish more respect in the long run.
Actively Listen
While you’re in the place of having more open and honest communication, don’t forget to pay attention to what your partner is saying. When you get into a routine with your partner, it’s easy for communication to become a rote task.
It’s human nature to start to formulate your next thought or statement in response to your counterpart during conversation before they even finish their statement. Allow them to finish their thought and truly hear what is being said. Ask questions about what they're saying to gain more understanding. Listen with open ears.
Be Present
It’s no secret that life gets busy. There’s always a work deadline, household chores, and social activities to keep up with. You may find yourself having full conversations with your partner while dual tasking something else.
In order to improve your communication, give your partner your undivided attention. Be present for conversations revolving around important matters. Make them feel like your top priority and not the background task.
If you’ve lost some of that connection with your partner, contact us to learn how to improve your communication further in couples therapy.